Reflections on Food in its Various Forms

While it hopefully won't come as a shock that cuisine differs between regions, it is important to realize that those things that are rather common (bread, toast, butter, etc.) often do not translate, unless your target audience speaks your brand of English. In Britain, for example, chips refer to a fried potato dish that are otherwise known as "French Fries," and "red sauce" is ketchup; the fried or baked slivers of potato, called chips in America, are crisps virtually everywhere else. Consequently, if you plan to order something in a foreign land (this applies to the different parts of the USA as well--the deep south and the northeast often have very different dietary options), know what it is before ordering.

 

Beware the Odd Name
Should you be confronted by something calling itself a butty, or more often, a chip butty, it is essentially a bun filled with chips (fries)--sometimes offered with sausage included. This dish, from personal experience,is not appetizing, unless you have been craving chips and the fryer was operated properly. Even so, it is not an experience demanding repetition.



Use Caution with Cans
If, while looking at shelved foodstuffs, you come across something called All-Day Breakfast in a Can, it really is what they say it is.  Thank you Britain for this foray into culinary history.  According to the label, it contains all aspects of a traditional English breakfast: beans, sausage, bacon, eggs, tomato sauce, and mushrooms.

Then, of course is the ubiquitous Cheeseburger in a can.  What enterprising young German we have to thank for this gem, I have no idea.  And yes, the canned Cheeseburger was formulated in Germany, apparently for use as a camping food.  It comes with everything already in there: bun, cheese, onion, pickle, there may have been tomato and/or a variant of leafy greens of some former description, but I somehow doubt it (and yes, I have witnessed this), and "meat" that in the fine example I saw, was grey.  Also, it does not look like the image above once it's been sitting on a shelf for a few months/years/whatever.  Especially not after its intended victim has boiled it, as that is the listed preparation.  Instead, it looks about like:

Lovely.  Again, thank you Germany.  The world knows you appreciate the outdoors and want to promote travel, preparedness, and easy meal storage.  But this... this is off the reservation and completely uncalled for.  Better luck next time.

For more amazingly horrid food substances in cans, check out Dear Vice -- Carnivore.


 Moral of the story: If your high-quality meal costs £1.50 or less, there's a good chance that it's not that great.  If you decide to go with canned something or other, at least have some real, fresh-ish bread to go with it.  Example: beans on toast, which really is beans on toast.  Or better yet, crack open that big box in the kitchen called a refrigerator and make some eggs.  You can even eat the eggs with your beans on toast.

Keep the kettles going and have some tea, that always helps things look a little better.

Till next time,
Kate